Monday, August 29, 2011

black top hat

oddly out of place in broad daylight
makes the day seem an occasion to celebrate

Sunday, August 28, 2011

lying in meditation

lying in meditation i experience a few moments of "in the moment" living and i realize just how "out of the moment" i have been

Saturday, August 27, 2011

reading to my children

my voice catches and tears escape
"mom stop!" they plead
and i remember
the terror of my mother's tears

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011

Sunday, August 21, 2011


fear rises up as i dream about what i want to do next;
turning daydreams into daymares

Saturday, August 20, 2011


time feels elusive and finite today
i scramble to "get it all done"
there is never enough
and yet, that's all there is

Friday, August 19, 2011


a toasted baguette
smothered in butter
with a smidge of strawberry jam
the sweetness lingers on my tongue

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

the pacific is not pristine

in westport, wa
but still beautiful
sand, surf and seaweed mingle
with planks and plastic
it's nature, without nuture

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sunday, August 14, 2011

sometimes i see my husband

out of the corner of my eye
i notice how attractive he is
and i remember that i forget

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

last night

while falling asleep
i wrote three small stones
i tried to rise and write them down
but sleep overtook me
and they slipped out of my hands
into the river of dreams

Monday, August 8, 2011

a walk on the beach

a friend and i take a walk on the beach
i am ahead with my son
she is behind with her daughter
we are searching for shells

as we walk, i wonder and worry-
should we wait for them?
are they catching up?
are we missing out on time together?

i breathe and remember
we ARE together
on this beach
in this life

even back in college,
when i felt left out, left behind, left
it was not true
we were always together

my son and i turn around to go back
they are far ahead of us now
but as we walk i can feel our togetherness
now, then

we stumble upon a message
carved in the sand:
"Hello, You
Heart, Us"
message received

Sunday, August 7, 2011

force majeure

--an act of God--
ate up the land
trees, homes
all that's left is debris:
cement, rebar, a bit of glass

i ponder the phrase, "act of God" to see if it applies...
or is it an "act of man" to build where God would rather dwell?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Friday, August 5, 2011

off the wagon

i fell off of the wagon last night
today i feel sad, mad, bad
despairing, despondent, nauseated
frustrated, broken, laid bare, sick
tomorrow is another day

Thursday, August 4, 2011


as i lay on the table
the masseur digs his fingers into my muscles
releasing tension stored up for years
the energy of past sadness, grief, fear and anger

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

baseball aviary

we are watching a baseball game
when all of a sudden doves are sweeping through the stadium
dozens of them
flying all around,
swooping, diving, taking over
unaware of what is going on below them
and unconcerned

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

when i finally lie down

at the end of the day
i realize i haven't been in my body all day.
i've been living on the edges of myself--
coming and going,
doing, not being.
i take a breath and come back,
to myself.

Monday, August 1, 2011

in the middle

in the middle of cleaning the carpet,
i sit down to write.
when i look up
it is dark.
the carpet is
still dirty,
but i feel clean.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Friday, July 29, 2011

Thursday, July 28, 2011

halfway through the day

i realize that i've been
worrying through
and nearly missed it all.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

nobody else showed up to practice yoga today

it was just me and the teacher
i was nervous to be so closely observed
what would she think?
would she think i was terrible?
would she think i was ugly?
would she think this was a total waste of her time?
"it doesn't matter what she THINKS," i reminded myself
"just do your practice."
i smiled and we began.
for 90 minutes she pushed me and pulled me and tweaked me
afterward as i lay in corpse pose i felt such gratitude
what a gift
the gift of 90 minutes

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


the word last has such finality to it
last day
last time
last goodbye
but last is a false concept for humans
we never really know what's last until the last moment
last beat
last breath
last word

Monday, July 25, 2011

i sit up - wild-eyed - in bed

i didn't write a small stone today!
i glance over at the clock
it reads 11:59 pm
yes, i did!
ah, now i can rest.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

it's been years

since i lay on the grass
watching the clouds go by
looking for shapes
noticing textures
feeling the movement
i could stay here forever

Friday, July 22, 2011

a harried man

carries a crying baby in one hand
so tiny and thin he must be a newborn
(his scrawny, dangling legs remind me of my son's when he was born)

in the other hand, a poopy diaper
he walks with determination and exhaustion
to the garbage can
i watch with a mixture of sympathy and terror
i remember those days

Thursday, July 21, 2011

yesterday it was summer at noon

and winter by five o'clock.
this morning it was fall and pouring rain.
now, at six o'clock in the evening, it is spring,
sunny and lightly raining.
four seasons in twenty-four hours.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

a black cat sits in a window

--framed, meditating.
i stop and stare for a moment
he turns to me as if to say,
"what are you looking at?"
then returns to his practice

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sunday, July 17, 2011

i worry

that i am becoming addicted to small stones
as soon as i pick one up,
i look around for another

Saturday, July 16, 2011

the warm sun on my arm

through the driver's side window
makes me feel young again
like my life is all ahead of me
and i could go anywhere

Friday, July 15, 2011

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sunday, July 10, 2011

alternachick texting

framed in the box office window
jet black pigtails
thick horn-rimmed glasses
scarlet lips
a photograph in my mind
entitled "seattle 2011"

Saturday, July 9, 2011

calla lilly

poking your stark white head out from among the weeds
sticking your tongue out at me

Friday, July 8, 2011

Thursday, July 7, 2011

6 pools

warm, warmer, warmest
hot, hotter, hottest
rocks, trees, sand and butterflies
heaven in idaho

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

the smell of sagebrush

baking in the sun as we drive across eastern washington
clears the mind
like god's own smudgestick

Monday, July 4, 2011

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Friday, July 1, 2011

zoe yogurt

peanut butter swirled with chocolate
in a compostable cup--
doubly delicious.